


The Hard Knock Life

by kaesaria



Series: Shiny New Kinks [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaesaria/pseuds/kaesaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well, Steve.  I’d say it kind of looks like someone tied me up for some kinky sex, and didn’t do a very considerate job.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hard Knock Life

**Author's Note:**

> I've jumped wholeheartedly onto the Tony/Steve bandwagon. Because it is just so fucking awesome.

Tony was perched comfortably at the kitchen counter with some expensive scotch and his brand new _StarkView_ ™ lenses, and in the middle of a fantastic, almost orgasmic, flow of creativity; when, from the corner of his eye, he saw Pepper stalk into the kitchen trailing a nervous-looking Steve after her. 

Something about Pepper’s determined expression told Tony that things did not bode well for his plans for an uninterrupted afternoon of work on the new biometric tactical input for the Mark XIV’s gauntlets... 

Tony groaned inwardly.  Then he groaned outwardly, because, what the hell.

“I’m busy.  Go away,” he tried, preemptively.

Steve, looking relieved, immediately started to turn back towards the hallway, practically mid-stride, but Pepper, damn her stubborn, interfering hide, grabbed the captain’s arm and hauled him with her across the marble floor towards Tony, heels clacking indomitably.

She sat down at the counter opposite Tony and pulled at Steve until the man finally sat sulkily down next to her.

Once she was sure Steve wasn’t going to make a run for it, Pepper looked at Tony and arranged her face into a We Need To Talk expression.

“Tony, Steve and I need to discuss something with you,” Pepper said, then she looked meaningfully at Steve.

Other than the practically resounding waves of discomfort and awkwardness radiating off of him, Steve stayed silent, eyes down.  Apparently there was something incredibly interesting about the countertop.  Something that made the tips of the captain’s ears turn pink.  It was absolutely adorable—

But now was not the time.

Tony tilted his chin at Pepper to convey rapt attention, then focused his eyes back on the schematics flashing across the inside of his lenses.  It would probably be easier to ignore Pepper at this point rather than try to make her go away, and long as he kept nodding and smiling at intervals, he figured, no one would be the wiser.

Pepper rolled her eyes.  “For god’s sake, Tony, take off your glasses and pay attention.  This is important.”

“Of course it is,” Tony said, magnanimously, and went back to scanning through the latest modification diagrams.  The nanoneural input mechanism was the tricky part; he would need to think some more about how to interface the new transmitter network to the existing wireframe inputs on the gauntlets…

Unfortunately, in his schematic-fueled distraction, he’d managed to forget for a second that a) Pepper wasn’t stupid and b) she’d been subjected to too many of SI’s technological marvels over the years to be properly awed by a new one—no matter how ingenious and cutting edge and light years ahead of Google Glass it was—and before Tony’s catlike reflexes could properly engage, Pepper had plucked the _StarkViews_ off his face and propped them on her own head, out of Tony’s reach.

Thus unfairly jolted from his very important work, Tony was forced to pay attention to Pepper for real.  Miffed, he gave her his most drippingly sarcastic You Are More Important Than My Work look.

Pepper scowled, then heeled her shoes off, resentfully and determinedly, and let them fall with a _thump thump_ on the kitchen floor.  She opened her mouth—

“Is this about that unfortunate incident in the gym?” Tony interjected, “Because I swear to god, I have no idea how that lube got mixed up with your energy gels in the cooler.”  He grinned his most winsome, wholesome grin.  Steve pinked further.

“Tony, can you just be serious for one second,” Pepper said, sounding annoyed—but then suddenly her expression changed.

It went all… soft? 

Tony stared.

Pepper leaned forward to grab Tony’s hand, pulling it towards her on the countertop in what Tony guessed was supposed to be a comforting fashion. 

“Steve and I are here for you,” Pepper said and shot another pointed, weighty glance towards Steve before continuing, “You can talk to us about anything.  Anything at all that’s going on with you.”  She stopped and waited expectantly, still holding Tony’s hand.

Tony had no idea what she was talking about.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

At this, Pepper looked both weirdly dejected and exasperated at the same time.  Tony shifted his gaze towards Steve, trying to catch a clue, but Steve just looked kind of shifty and miserable and wouldn’t catch Tony’s eye.  Tony opened his mouth again to convey some new version of _what the fuck_ , but before he could get anything out—

Pepper squeezed down on Tony’s hand, uncomfortably tight—as if she thought he’d pull away?—and suddenly pushed up the sleeve of his t-shirt to expose Tony’s wrist.  It happened to be the one that his watch was on.  Tony blinked.

“This,” Pepper was saying, in a hushed tone, as if she had exposed a horrible revelation, “I’m talking about this.”  She gestured at Tony’s forearm, dramatically, and then looked compassionately into his eyes. 

Tony looked down at his own arm, mystified. 

It looked perfectly normal to him, other than a little bit of skin irritation.  He scratched his wrist idly under the watch—it was a new one, self-made and pleasingly flashy, but apparently the Asgardian metal alloy he’d used on the wristband was reacting weirdly with his skin and causing some kind of rash.  Tony had had to switch the watch from his other wrist just yesterday, but now it looked like he might just have to get rid of it, which sucked because Thor had made a really big deal of it.

“You want to talk about my watch?” He ventured, confused.

Pepper sighed and let go of his hand.  “I understand if you don’t want to talk about it with me,” she said, “I knew it might feel a little… awkward because of our past.”  She paused and looked intently at Tony as if she expected some kind of horrible confession about male jewelry or something.

Tony stared back at her.  He was starting to get a little irritated at all her Meaningful Looks and wished she would just give his glasses back.  He scratched at his wrist some more, then stopped and took off the stupid watch, and rubbed at his reddened wrist. 

“There, I took it off, are you happy?”

Pepper made a _hmph_ noise under her breath and then get off her stool.  “Fine, you don’t have to talk about it with me.  That’s why Steve is here.”  She leveled her stolid gaze at Steve again and patted the captain’s shoulder, pointedly.  “He thought you might be more comfortable talking to him.”  She gave Steve’s shoulder one more commanding pat.

Steve started like he had thought nothing of the kind.

Then he turned those big beautiful blue eyes on Tony, all desperate and pleading, and Tony was forced to take pity. 

“Yes, fine, I’ll talk to Steve.  He makes me… comfortable.”  He said, shooting a quick leer at Steve, who just looked flustered some more.  Pepper nodded, approvingly, clearly having missed some undercurrents there.  Tony took the opportunity to pluck his _StarkViews_ off her head as she stooped to grab her shoes, then Pepper padded out of the kitchen area.  On her way out, she glanced over her shoulder in an irritating fashion to throw Tony one more bafflingly sympathetic look.

“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave!” Tony yelled out behind her.  Pepper rolled her eyes and quickened her pace, which was exactly the result Tony had been hoping for.

As soon as she was gone, Steve let out a huge breath and his big shoulders drooped, relaxing for the first time since he’d entered the room.  Tony watched, amused.

“What exactly was she talking about?” he asked.

Steve, looking extremely uncomfortable, gestured vaguely towards Tony’s hands.  “She thinks you’ve… you’re being—.  You know.  _Unsafe,_ ” he said, then blushed attractively and couldn’t seem to go on.

This was ridiculous.  Tony held both his hands out in front of him and looked at them again in exasperation.  “Seriously.  What the fuck are you guys on—.”  Then he stopped, looking at his wrists. 

Both of his wrists were banded by an angry, red rash, left by the apparently toxic watchband, which, if you didn’t know that, kind of looked like—

Huh, Tony thought. 

He looked up at Steve, who was looking back at him with an expression of supreme relief, now that Tony was apparently catching on at last.

“You see what it looks like,” he said, then started to get up, clearly very eager to end the conversation there, “So, I’ll just go now, and—”

This was interesting.

“Well, Steve.  I’d say it kind of looks like someone tied me up for some kinky sex, and didn’t do a very considerate job,” Tony said, because someone had to.

“Um.”  Steve turned a brighter red, then nodded kind of jerkily, swallowing and sitting back down reluctantly.  “So that’s what Pepper was—worried about.”  The poor guy just couldn’t seem to make eye contact, no matter how hard he tried.

“It was the watchband,” said Tony, tickled.  “It’s that new metal from Asgard, see?  Thor gave it to me to ‘fashion a trinket of it in my magnificent Midgardian forge’.”  Tony picked up the offending watch and tossed it across the counter at Steve, who caught it in his left hand reflexively.

“Yeah, I realize that now,” Steve gritted out, fingering the watch, “And I knew before that it wasn’t, like—,” here his voice dropped to an embarrassed, conspiratorial whisper, “a _sex thing_ , obviously.  But I couldn’t very well explain that to Pepper, without—.  You know.” 

Tony didn’t say anything for a moment, just sat back and looked at the captain; sort of loving the deep red that was slowly creeping back up Steve’s neck as the silence lengthened.  It was both hilarious and a huge turn on.

Steve glanced up to see that Tony was enjoying the view, and flushed some more.  “So anyway, now you can just tell her—”

“Yup, I’ll tell her,” Tony cut in, “I’ll tell her this isn’t what she thinks it is.”

“Great.”  Steve started to get up again, looking beyond relieved that this agreement had finally been reached, “So I’ll just—go.”

But Tony decided he wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot.  This little situation was starting to look like something he could have a lot of fun with.  It was Steve’s own fault, anyway, for thinking it was in any way okay to interrupt Tony’s creative-flow time.

“I’ll tell her it wasn’t that my kinky lover tied me to the bed last night or anything,” he tried out, smirking at Steve in a winsome fashion.

Steve froze, halfway out of his stool.  _Ah hah._  

“I’ll tell her I’d never do anything so _unsafe_ as to let an inexperienced would-be-suitor use me for his fumbling investigations into S&M,” Tony continued, warming to his theme now.

Steve’s eyes widened, then he glanced around the empty kitchen anxiously, as if he thought Bruce would suddenly pop out from behind the refrigerator or something.  “Be quiet, Tony—we’re in a _public area_.  Someone is going to walk in here any second!”

Tony grinned, shark-like. 

“Don’t worry, Steve,” he lowered his voice, conspiratorially, “I’ll tell Pepper that there’s no way I could be so naive as to consent to risky _sexual bondage_.”

At ‘bondage’, Steve emitted a noise that could only be called a squeak.  Tony shot a quick glance down and saw that there was a distinct bulge in the front of the good captain’s pants now.  Oh, the joys of discovering a shiny new kink.  Who would’ve known Steve had it in him.

“You know I’d _never_ do that,” Tony went on, arranging his face into an expression of childlike innocence, “So I won’t tell her that I let some inconsiderate pervert strap me down on his bed last night, about how he tied my wrists to the bedposts, left me all exposed and helpless and quivering...” 

Steve was staring at Tony now, his jaw looking a little slack.

Tony smiled, scenting victory.  He paused for a second, savoring it, and considered where he wanted to take this next.  Then he carefully wrapped his thumb and middle finger around his left wrist, exactly over where the red mark was.

Steve was watching Tony’s hands intently.  Tony saw him swallow once, hard, then Steve opened his mouth.  “You wouldn’t—” he started, but Tony interrupted him, inspiration having struck.

“I won’t tell her about how it all started, how this sexy, twisted lover of mine pushed me down on the bed with his big, bulging muscles.  How he pinned me under his bulky, immovable body; even though I wasn’t completely sure I was okay with it.”  As he talked, Tony could feel his own pants get distinctly tight about the crotch area.

Steve’s eyes were delightfully wide, and there was definitely a distinct, if soft, panting sound coming from his direction now.  Tony went on, thoroughly encouraged.

“I won’t tell her that I could feel his big cock rubbing against me as he pushed himself on top of me.  I won’t tell her about how I struggled, tried so hard to get away, but I couldn’t, he was too strong—I couldn’t budge him an inch.”  Tony was making it up as he went along, visualizing it all in his head as he talked and turning himself on like crazy.  At this point he had to pause for a second to adjust himself behind the counter, things were starting to get a little uncomfortable.

“I won’t tell her that I clawed at his massive biceps, trying to pry him off of me, but that he grabbed my hands, pulled them together in one big, unbreakable grip,” he continued.

Steve groaned, kind of gratifyingly loudly, and then looked like he was experiencing brand new levels of mortification as he realized the sound had come from him.  Tony observed all this with malicious delight before gleefully going on.

“I won’t tell her about how he held me down then and ground against me with his powerful, manly hips and how I could feel his cock rubbing against mine, which was so hard and aching by then that I couldn’t stop myself, I started whimpering under him, begging him to do with me what he would—,” Tony was _really_ getting into it now,

“Before I knew it he was wrapping some—um.  Rope, I guess.”  He had to slow down for a second, momentarily distracted by logistics, “That he had pulled from—somewhere.”

Tony gamely barreled on, refusing to be daunted by fantasy technicalities, “He wrapped this thick, unyielding rope around my wrists, one at a time, and tied my arms to the bedposts; I felt all spread apart and defenseless and it was so hot, I almost came right there.”  Tony stopped to swallow and catch his breath, his voice was going a little uneven. 

Luckily, it looked like Steve wasn’t in any position to notice the pause; the guy had on a kind of glazed-over expression and his mouth was hanging open a little.  He was absolutely gorgeous.

“I was so ready, I was begging for it, and then I felt this huge tear as he ripped open my pants and closed his massive hand over my cock and _ah_ —,” Tony realized he was pushing himself embarrassingly against the counter and kind of couldn’t believe how much this was doing it for him.  Discovering new kinks, indeed.

Steve was sitting stock-still, his eyes riveted on Tony, panting harshly.  He still had Tony’s watch in his fist; it looked like he was squeezing the shit out of it.  “ _Then what?_ ”  Steve croaked, sounding hoarse and gloriously desperate.

“Then he jerked me with his hand, and it was hot and kind of harsh because there wasn’t any lube but the friction was awesome…  I started pulling at the ropes with both my hands, I felt it digging into my wrists but I couldn’t _move_ ; I felt so defenseless and helpless and that’s what did it for me at the end, I couldn’t last any longer—I started to come like a fucking volcano all over his hand and his chest and all over my pants and it was so _dirty_ and it felt so amazing—I thought I was going to pass out...”

“ _Tony_ —,” Steve gasped.  He looked dazed and flushed and so absolutely fuckable with his mouth hanging open and his pupils so dilated now that his eyes might as well have been black.

“But he wasn’t done yet, this sexy, powerful lover of mine,” Tony continued, savoring, memorizing and filing away for later the delicious expression on Steve’s face.  It was a good look on him. 

“He didn’t even wait for me to recover.  Before I knew it, he was crawling up my helpless, exposed body.  I could feel his huge, solid thighs straddle my chest, pinning me down even more.  I could hardly breathe.  Then I opened my eyes and all I could see was his massive, throbbing cock right in front of me.  It was right over my face, all hard and red and leaking…”

Steve groaned.  “What—Tony, what happened next…?” he managed to gasp out.  There was a slight metallic _ting_ coming from Steve’s clenched fist as the Asgardian alloy finally lost its valiant fight against Captain America’s biometrically engineered hand muscles.  Steve didn’t seem to notice.

“I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.  I wanted it in me so bad.  I wanted him to grab my hair and hold my mouth open as he stuffed my face full of cock—”

Tony valiantly ignored his own raging hard-on.  He watched Steve intently as he went on, waiting for it,

“I wanted him to hold me down and fuck my face, make me _take_ it, force me to choke on that magnificent cock as he shoved it down my throat.”  Steve was really panting now, in harsh, gasped-out breaths and as Tony watched Steve’s right hand, almost of its own accord, slid off the countertop and went towards Steve’s lap.  Almost there now…

“I opened my mouth, all wet and eager, I was so ready for it; and then he reared forward and slid that gigantic thing into my hot, ready mouth—”

Steve grabbed himself through his pants. 

Tony watched as Steve ground the heel of his hand hard against the massive bulge in pants, watched as Steve’s hips thrust upwards unconsciously once, twice, then—

“ _Steve!_ ” Tony pitched his voice to the most scandalized tone he could muster, “We’re in a _public area_.”

Tony couldn’t stop himself from grinning, maniacally delighted, as Steve immediately froze in mid-motion, going kind of pale under his deep flush. 

Steve looked tense enough to shatter glass.  The poor guy was obviously utterly mortified as he realized what he had been about to do, but for an endless second, it looked like he might do it anyway.  The scene would have been almost painful to watch—if Tony wasn’t so mercilessly amused.  He was a bad, bad man.

Then, looking like he was exerting every ounce of that much vaunted (and clearly rightly so, thought Tony, impressed) super soldier control, Steve jerked his hand back up to the counter.  He glared dangerously across at Tony, all wild-eyed, looking equal parts furious and frantic.  “ _Tony,”_ he hissed, _“You are such a piece of_ —”

“Well, anyway,” Tony interrupted smoothly, quickly schooling his face into an expression of supreme, uncaring nonchalance, “I won’t tell Pepper any of that.  Because it didn’t happen.  Obviously.”

Tony blinked and smiled innocently at Steve, who gaped back at him.  The venerable captain was still uncomfortably hunched over himself and clutching the sadly crushed remains of Tony’s watch in his hand kind of desperately. 

“And you owe Thor a new Midgardian-forged trinket.”

Then Tony hopped off his stool, all easy and graceful.  He grabbed his _StarkViews_ off the counter and strolled casually out of the kitchen, completely ignoring how uncomfortably tight his pants were feeling at the moment.

Just before he turned the corner at the hallway he glanced back at Steve, who was still sitting at the counter and glaring at Tony in shock and crazy-eyed frustration.

“See you tonight!” Tony sing-songed, then snickered all the way down to the workshop.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is hugely appreciated. You can also discuss this story (or anything else) with me on [Tumblr](http://kaesaria.tumblr.com/). **(ETA: And now also on Imzy.[Come play with me!](https://www.imzy.com/kaesaria))**


End file.
